The other week, God called me to fast. It was Friday night when he put it on my heart, and he didn’t tell me for how long, or why, just to do it. I don’t know how I really felt about it, it was somewhat scary, somewhat exciting, the idea of not eating for an unknown amount of time for a reason I didn’t know.
I started the fast the next day, Saturday, and had a pretty ordinary day. Seeing how it was our day off, we went to Brownsville. I sat in the park, reading and having some good quite time all day. It was a really cool time to just sit and relax, enjoying the birds and the pond. It was Sunday when things began to really get interesting. This was the day that I really started to get hunger pains, and at the same time this was the day that I began to have a new focus on God. Monday was another awesome spiritual day for me, the focus continued and things just seemed to make sense to me.
On Tuesday, we started going deep into simplicity, and one of the things we gave up was our free time. This was not good for me, seeing how my free time had morphed into my time I used to slip away with God. For the next three days, the new found focus and intimacy I had with God started to slip away. I was not okay with this. I am normally a very content person, but I wasn’t at this point, and didn’t know why I wasn’t content and that annoyed me even more. Those three days where rough, and it was the first real struggle I’ve gone through while I was here. Thursday night, we had a little bit of free time, and I was quick to use it to really be frank with God about how I was feeling, and try to listen to what he had to say (the listening was what I was struggling with the most, I felt like I couldn’t hear His voice). It was a nice talk, he showed me that I was not getting enough quiet time, and the time I was getting (early in the morning, late at night) was when I was not able to really focus on him. He also showed me that it was okay to not be content in this, if my relationship with Him is suffering, then I should be doing all I can to fix it, and its good to not settle when it comes to Him. One of the last things he told me in that time was to break my fast the next morning. I had reached the point where I could eat or not eat and not really care either way, and I think that’s what he wanted to show me about fasting. The frosted flakes Friday morning were amazing.
